The stool sample

One of my 70-something year old patients had an appointment with me. As mostly happens, she came with her husband. As I walked into the room, he looked at me seriously and said, "Doc, I brought in a stool sample." My forehead creased as I tried to figure out what was going to come next. One of the things with being a doctor who sees entire families is that often, you get to address the health concerns of a family member that was only accompanying the family member you are actually scheduled to see. No problem. It comes with the territory. My mind was racing with differential diagnosis: gastroenteritis? Blood in the stool? Diarrhea? Colitis?

And then he handed me the bottle. I didn't get it at first, until I opened the bottle and emptied out the 'sample':