Damned if you do, damed if you don't...

In the last week, we had two codes in Pediatrics. Both involved kids less than 6 months of age.

The first one arrived in the ER pulseless and not breathing. We coded him for 25 minutes. He never came around. He was pronounced. There were tears of frustration, grief and shock in the eyes of everyone who walked away from the dead baby. We knew very little about this baby except the couple of sentences the EMT shouted out as we got busy to work on him.

I cannot describe to you how that feels... to do chest compressions on a 3-4 month baby, watching the monitor for signs of life, hearing the litany of a code be chanted behind you "1 more dose of epi now!" "stop compressions, check for pulse!" "continue compressions"

The second code was in the PICU. It was a patient on a ventilator. This was a premature, about 3 month-er that we knew. He stopped breathing (if you can do such a thing while on a breathing machine) when one of his lungs pulled away from the chest wall and collapsed. This led to his heart slowing down and then stopping. He went pulseless.

Peds residents and doctors ran from wherever they were to the PICU and became part of the crowd doing things. I did chest compressions, then needled his right chest wall to relieve the pneumothorax.

I have attended or participated in 4 peds codes so far in my training. This was the first time that the baby lived. Those statistics, dismal as they are, are about right. Not many infants survive codes. Kids do not have the reserve that adults do.

Coming away from this code was different. There was elation, nervous laughter, heady joy -- he lived!

I went back to the wards to resume my duties. I was taking care of a 2 year old admitted for increased secretions from his trach tube. Trach tube? This is a tube attached to the throat to help patients who cannot breathe effectively through their mouths and nostrils. This two-year old lay stiff in bed, with blind eyes open, a thickened pallette and flushed. At 10 months of age, his teenage sister turned away from him in the bath-tub for just a minute to see to another sibling who fell off his bike. In that minute, this little boy drowned. Since the family lived next to a fire station, the crew was over there in record time and he was successfully rescucitated. He lived! This was a code like the one I was just at, in that the patient lived.

Unfortunately, in that short period of time he was down, his brain suffered an irrecoverable injury from being without oxygen. He cannot talk, walk or see. He needs a breathing tube in his throat to breathe effectively. Should he have been saved? Of course! Who can predict what degree of injury and what subsequent recovery is possible? We have no a priori knowlege, so we must rescucitate.

Of course, as I care for him on the wards and wonder about the one we did not save and the one we did, I wonder about these things. What will the outcome be for the one we saved? Will he be like this 2 year old?

I am a christian. I do not swear. But in this case, the phrase "damed if you do, damned if you don't" seems to say it all.

Update on 4/2/2007:
My pager went off in the early hours of the morning. I was off-duty, but I had left my pager on. I looked at the read-out and saw the code message and the room message. Later that morning, the news was confirmed. The 3-monther we had successfuly rescucitated had coded again and this time, did not survive. He died of cardiopulmonary failure that morning.